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Sunday, August 4, 2013

"Oh, Stuff It" - Part 3 - Odeur de Raccoon

We surely enjoyed swinging from the bridge rope that day.  The temperatures hit the 110 mark at least.  And the hills outside of Livermore are mostly covered in knee high dry grass, a hard pressed oak tree here and there, and poison oak.  The bridge crossed the river at the upper end of Lake Del Valle.  Spanning a narrow, deep ravine with a roc wall on one side, and a grass covered hill on the other.
 
We took turns catching the rope, climbing the cliff next to the bridge with it, and launching ourselves outward, swinging through the full arc out and back, and dropping on the second swing.  Wind sound buffeting the ears and being driven down into the green lit underwater of the river was just a pure joy in release from the brutal heat of the sun.
 
 
 
All too soon it was time to call it a day.  We pulled up stakes and jumped our bikes an hour early or so such that we could retrieve our hidden raccoon, finish our chores, and get on with the skinning and taxidermy work that lay ahead.
 
I remember it seeming funny to me.  When we got back and pulled that raccoon out from that metal culvert, it sure looked bigger than I had remembered it being.  But no matter; all the better as a display once we were done with it.
 
We strapped it onto the rack on the back of one of the bikes so that everyone could see our prize.  Jumped on or bikes, and sweated our way back into town.
 
 
 
Old Mr Peck must of seen us coming.  By the time we had our bikes put away, the last chores done, and a worktable set up out back for the skinning, he had pulled a chair out onto his back porch, had a cool drink at hand and was chuckling under his breath as he puffed on his pipe.
 
We weren’t sure exactly what he was chuckling over, but we were happy to have an audience so as we could show off our treasure.  Somehow, again, that treasure seemed to have become even more plentiful than when we picked it up.
 
So we gathered our tools, tape measure, X-acto knives, scrapers, salt for the hide, tanning chemicals, and such.  Then we tossed to determine who was going to get the honor of doing the cutting.  Truth be told, Jeff had the best touch for that part of the work, but Barry and I both knew there were bragging rights that would go with it, so we each wanted a crack at doing the cutting.
 
If I remember right, Barry didn’t win the toss, but he pulled rank on account of being the eldest, and he settled in to start work.  Watching, it seemed to me that that old coon was as puffy as a balloon, sitting there on the table in the full sun during the heat of the day.
 
Barry carefully combed and parted the fur along the mid-line of the critter’s belly, and steadily slipped the knife into the belly skin.
 
There was a slight rush of escaping gas.
 
The raccoon got smaller.
 
All three of us boys began to gag.
 
Mr Peck stopped chuckling and started flat out laughing.
 
Lord, that thing was ripe.  
 
 
 
Now you need to understand, this is coming from a guy who has changed the diapers of very sick children; has cleaned and gutted his share of fish, and deer, and pigs; and even weathered a bad storm sleeping in an outhouse once.
 
But that raccoon…..
 
That raccoon just purely reeked.
 
Mr Peck reached in the house and got out a can of air freshener, and he was a good 40 feet away.
 
 
 
We boys figured it would dissipate pretty quick, so we sucked it up and Barry tried to get on with the skinning.  Problem was, the skin kept shredding on him.  And the smell wasn’t getting any better.  And he was at serious risk.
 
Ask any surgeon.  They’ll tell you. 
 
One hand is at risk if the other hand is holding a sharp knife and the guy who owns both hands is busy with the dry heaves.
 
 
 
We decided that we needed a clear head to rethink this.  So we all stepped back, way back, actually we climbed the fence and stood within the halo of Mr Peck’s air freshener.
 
What we needed wasn’t so much a clear head; as it was clear air and a new plan. 

 
 

Copyright © 2013 - Marty Vandermolen - All Rights Reserved

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